My kids’ school system could take a lesson in getting to the point. On snow days or snow-delayed days, we receive an automated 5 AM phone call to let us know the status closings or delays. This is an almost word for word recap of what they say:
Hello, this is [guy’s name], superintendent of the [I’m not telling you which school my kid goes to, stalker] County School System, calling to update you on the status of school closings for [today’s date].
Road conditions in the county have deteriorated overnight because of the winter precipitation that began last evening. We have had crews out since 4:00 this morning, surveying road conditions to see if they are safe enough for buses and our teenage student drivers.
Because safety is of the utmost priority, we want to make sure that we take utmost precautions when making a decision on closings or delays. Although most of the primary roads have been cleared, some outlying areas might still have slick road surfaces, especially because temperatures are hovering around freezing, the barometric pressure is 29 and falling, and my artificial hip is flaring up again…