Here’s an oldie but a somewhat-goodie. What makes it goodie, you ask? It’s already been written. I’m takin’ the day off.

…we’re going to need your Social Security number, you need to quote five consecutive scripture verses from Leviticus, employment history, a letter of recommendation from your former church, blood samples, your personal stance on Calvinism, your shoe size, and you have to promise never ever ever to leave this church no matter how psychotic we get or how many splits we have or how many fights break out in business meeting, but we still reserve the right to talk bad about you if you ever wear a Santa sweater with 3-D beard fur.

Read the full post here. (I promise it makes more sense when the Santa sweater is in context.)