I’m not exactly what you would call a public restroom aficionado. As a born-and-bred germaphobe, I’m not a big fan of hanging out in the bacterial rodeo we call the men’s room.

I believe that a great bathroom should be completely hands-free: automatically flushing toilet, automatic sinks, automatic soap dispenser, automatic paper towels, and a door that pushes open from the inside. (Don’t get me started on air dryers; those things are nasty.)

I believe that the ninth circle of hell in Dante’s Inferno would have included none of those things, but rather those sinks where you have to keep pressing the faucet with your elbow in order to get a 3.8 second stream of water and that lotion soap that takes a sandblaster to get off of your hands.

My point? I think if more business owners used the bathrooms that they expected their guests to use, their bathrooms would look a lot different. They’d be more user-friendly.

My real point? Which “bathroom” do you need to check out in your weekend service? What frustrates your guests? By golly, what is your lotion soap?

(Can’t get enough potty language? Check out Travel + Leisure’s list of the World’s Best Public Restrooms.)