You won’t find anyone who likes Christmas music much more than I do.  I have to fight good common sense every year to keep from cranking up a little Bing Crosby way before Thanksgiving.  But even guys like me have their limits.  Even I hear a song come on the radio from time to time that makes me want to drive myself off the nearest cliff.  Here’s a list of my current annoyances…

  • Let It Snow (Gloria Estefan version): everybody likes a good trumpet, but 154 trumpets trying to outdo each other on higher and higher octaves are a bit much.  Sing the song already, Gloria.  Kill the brass.
  • Santa Baby (Eartha Kitt version): nothing says, “materialistic little princess” like this song.  Every time it comes on the radio I totally overlook the cutesy novelty of it and just want to park her in front of a looping commercial about starving kids in Africa starring that guy who now that I think about it looks a little like Santa Claus anyway, so there.
  • Santa Baby (Madonna version): same as above, except this time it sounds like a four year old singing it.
  • The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late): written in 1958, this song proves that the 60’s wasn’t the only decade of rampant drug use.
  • Any song by the Jackson Five where Michael has a conversation with his brothers.  (“I did! I did see mommy kissing Santa Claus!” “Shut up and get back in the hyperbaric chamber.”)  You’re a great singer, Mike.  Don’t ruin it by talking.
  • I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas: ’nuff said.

How about you?  Which songs cause you to want to rip your ears from your head and feed ’em to reindeer?

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