The World Wide Interweb is a funny thing.  Because it greatly reduces face-to-face interaction, it’s hard to tell if someone is happy or sad, being serious or sarcastic, mildly anxious or standing on the side of a building and ready to push the eternal “ESC” button.

That’s why I’m glad we have tools like emoticons, as illustrated thusly:

Someone might say: My cat just died.  :(  and we know they’re unhappy because of the I’m-frowning-on-my-side frowny face.

And then I would say, One cat down, 200 bazillion to go.  :)  and you know that I’m happy, because I’m just that kind of a sicko. 

Then there are the important issues, which people draw to your attention by putting them in bold, as in:

I think the Connections Pastor just intentionally ran over my cat.  Twice.

But my all-time favorite is the CAPS YELLER.  Perhaps you’re familiar with the caps yeller: it’s your aunt who doesn’t realize that caps lock works both ways.  Everything is important, everything is urgent, everything jumps out into your face like a computerized cat off a fridge, a’like so:

I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT I BOUGHT MORE CAT FOOD, BUT THE CAT IS DEAD.  SO I THINK I WILL GET ANOTHER CAT.  OR LEARN TO LIKE SALMON FLAVORED BITS O’STUFF.

I don’t know which method I will use today to draw your attention to the fact that you didn’t hear me very well last week, because as I do most days, I’m completely making this stuff up as I go along.  But readers, you’ve never let me down so far, and I don’t expect you to start now.  I NEED TO KNOW YOUR WORST JOB EVER (READ MORE ABOUT IT HERE).  :)

And no, Jon Lunn, you cannot name the name of the business or your boss, or where he lives, or what you’d like to do with his cat.  That’s why your comment didn’t post, sicko.

Remember, there are prizes.  Or actually, two prizes.  Okay, your choice out of two prizes.  

Seriously, hurry up.  Thursday’s your deadline.

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